…..No, this is not about the love of oak trees or saving the planet, though there is nothing wrong with either of those. It is about understanding how things change and grow and what this can tell us about ourselves and our relationships.

Have you ever got stuck with how you think about yourself or a relationship? If you have, part of the problem may have been your impatience. You want some change, and you want it now, or at least sooner than it could happen.

Imagine if you planted an acorn. You go back a week later…nothing. A month later….a small shoot if you’re lucky. A few months later….you might see a tiny oak leaf. Then winter comes and there is nothing but a dead-looking twig. It doesn’t look anything like an oak tree. You say to yourself “It wasn’t working. It could never work. It was all pointless.” You pull it out and throw it away.

What do we do when we think about personal change or growing a long-term relationship? It is all too easy to want too much too soon. If we do, we can stay focused on what is wrong. We are blind to small signs of growth. If we do see these, we simply discount them. “They don’t matter. They are not enough.” We convince ourselves we, or the other person, can’t or won’t change.

The alternative? Whatever ‘acorn’ you plant, be patient. Look for those tiny shoots of change. Value them. Nurture them. In time nature will do the rest.